Sex and it maintenance, why is it a good thing?

Shobizz Blog - Sex & Life Style

It’s one of the lousiest terms ever: maintenance sex.
When I hear it, I picture a woman scrubbing loos, unblocking drains and then shuffling to the bed so that Mr Man can climb on top of her and do his fanjangle while she waits for him to ‘just get it over with’.
Loos? Tick. Drains? Tick. Die a little inside? Tick.
In fact, I’ve heard ‘maintenance sex’ advised to women to keep their men from straying. It was, and still is apparently in some parts of the interwebs, considered ‘duty sex’: ‘Just deal with your hubby’s tiresome demands non-sexual wife’.
The problem with these terribly dull (maintenance) and dangerous (duty) terms, is that they undermine the basic premise of the idea, which is really rather great.
And that is to keep you and your honey physically intimate for as long as you want to be together, especially if that ‘together’ is monogamous.
Practising ‘maintenance sex’ is your commitment to making the effort to keep this physical connection to someone you love strong. It means choosing to get jiggy with each other instead of choosing to watch another episode of Series X.

Shobizz Blog - Sex & Life Style

It means making yourself available to the idea of physical intimacy even if you’re not feeling 100% sex-on-legs. Remember that xolumn about responsive desire?
That doesn’t mean you have to practice penetrative sex every time you connect physically to your partner.
‘Maintenance sex’ isn’t exclusively penetrative sex. At least not in House Black. I think equating maintenance sex – or any physicality with your partner – to penetrative sex is where some resistance to physical intimacy builds up.
Being penetrated is pretty crap if you’re feeling withdrawn, protective or vulnerable. And after a day’s stress those are fairly familiar feelings.
If penetration is then an unspoken expectation of the sex experience, it might feel way more comfortable to simply not engage sexually at all when your man partner tries to initiate sex.
But what if physical intimacy on those days meant a massage and cuddle for you – and a hand job for him if he needed an orgasm release?

Shobizz Blog - Sex & Life Style

If you can both agree to make use of the whole sex-play menu available to you – whether that’s penetration, skin-on-skin cuddles, massage, oral sex, hand jobs, mutual masturbation and so on – your experience of sex with each other over the long term broadens and deepens.
So make that agreement to make an effort regularly in whatever way suits you both.
For me, maintenance sex means cuddles, hand holding, kissing, sex and the occasional kink parties and role playing.
Whatever it means for you, it’s about keeping that initial blaze of sexual attraction on a steady burn so that your sexual energy doesn’t fizzle into a desperate little ember when ‘real life’ starts seeping into the routine of couplehood.

And you’ll notice I said ‘your’ sexual energy.
‘Maintenance sex’ is not just about you as a part of a ‘we’, it’s also about making a commitment to keep your own sexual self nurtured.

Shobizz Blog - Sex & Life Style

Cancer machine is down "LUTH"

The Lagos University Teaching Hospital, LUTH, has explained why its cancer machine (Linear accelerator) has not been functioning in the last two months, blaming it on technical faults. Meanwhile, the hospital  has faulted the recent call for the removal of the Hospital’s Chief Medical Director, CMD, Prof. Chris Bode from office by the Lagos State branch of the Nigerian Medical Association, NMA querying the legality of such call.
Addressing a press conference in Lagos,  alongside  top LUTH Management Officers in Lagos, the Chief Medical Director disclosed that  not less than N18 million is required to fix the problem. Bode who also explained that money was not the reason why the machine has remained unrepaired, said the work on the machine was stalled due to lack of local expertise and the materials needed for the repairs.
“The machine broke down two months ago when the iron pump failed and it is not about money because we want it to be repaired like yesterday.  It will cost us N18 million to repair, as we speak we are holding onto the money.  When the company will import what they need we will give them the money. “Infact,  there is plan now to engage another private investor to put the second linear accelerator in operation because of the enormity of the number of people that require it.
“We have the money is just for us to release it to them but we must follow government guideline,” he explained. Reacting to the call for his removal,the Chief Medical Director alleged orchestrated efforts by the Lagos State NMA to forment trouble. Bode who said LUTH only functioned for six months in the last one year due to incessant strikes, warned resident doctors who are not ready to be trained to stay away from the hospital.
Further, he alleged that the hospital is being persecuted because it did not join the last  strike called by the National Association of Resident Doctors. “LUTH remained open and worked throughout the last six -week strike period in July /August because gallant consultants, residents, nurses, pharmacists, physiotherapists, lab workers, etc kept the hospital open.
“We stopped the salaries of those on strike. We all, for once, decided that uninterrupted services should be available for Nigerians if you do not wish to train, stay away. Services are paramount and should be given whether or not training takes place. We also stopped the salaries of striking workers as we considered it fraudulent for anyone to continue receiving taxpayers’ money while denying the same taxpayers their entitled essential medical services in our hospital.”
On allegation of over age, he explained that the post of CMD is appointed by the President for tenure, adding that the current LUTH CMD is an academic staff of UNILAG and is only on leave of absence to take up the political appointment. He said an academic professor cannot be retired because an association says so and that LUTH does not report to NMA.  “The retiring age of academic staff of the University was formerly 65 but was later amended in 2012 to 70 years for full professors.